What to look for in your next therapist?
You get to choose your next therapist, but what are you looking for?
In my opinion, it’s important to have a good rapport with your therapist. Honestly, you may or may not actually share intimate details, but you will definitely be spending hours at a time with this person. If you don’t get a long with them, it might be hard to get anything done. Here are some things to consider as you start your search -
Personality fit - Sometimes we want our therapist to be our friend, which they aren’t. BUT they can be someone you like and there is nothing wrong with wanting them to understand you really well, For example, some people really perfer to have a theraphist that represents the same ethnic background or racial background so they feel more connected; where as others sometimes perfer that is not the case so they can remain private. Whatever the case may be, you are allowed to have this preference.
Modalities - It can be helpful to really narrow down what you are going to therapy for because who you choose might be informed by that decision. For example, currently I am seeing a therapist that is certified in EMDR, which is a modality that focuses on reprocessing trauma. If I was perhaps just looking for a more talk-therapy approach, I might have not needed someone with this certification. There are a few modalities out there so doing a quick google search with your intention in mind can be helpful!
Expertise - Do they have the experience you want or are they new to the field? I mean hey, if anyone is going to try to convince you to try someone ‘new’ it would be me, but maybe you are really tired of therapy overall and want someone who has seen it all and therefore can help in a different way. Think about this one!
Cost - I don’t think there is any more to say here. Therapy can be really really expensive but also at times can be less expensive and suffer in quality. Do you have insurance? Is therapy a valid expense? What is your co=pay? Who is in network? All that stuff. Or perhaps you are ok with private pay outside of insurance and want to be able to choose any therapist. For example, Evolve will give you a super bill that you can bill to insurance if you need after the fact. Keeping in mind cost will inform a certain frequency of visits.
Availability - Best to match schedules with someone who has time when you do. This one is simple!
The six session rule - Some of my friends have asked me ‘how do I know if I found ‘the one’? LOL I think it is important to remember therapy takes time - you have to build that rapport with the therapist to get to a place where new insights can be made. Ideally the first six sessions can tell you if they are a good fit because by that time you’d have a good idea of where this is going and how it may go. That being said, I am a big believer in following your intuition. If you feel something is off right of the bat, or maybe one of the deal breakers above isn’t working out the way you wanted - let it go - there are SO many therapists out there who can help, you’ll find your person soon enough.
